


To Be Loved

by galactic-pirates (stillsearching47)



Series: In Your Arms Verse [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: A Monthly Rumbelling, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 05:47:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10735380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillsearching47/pseuds/galactic-pirates
Summary: Written forA Monthly Rumbelling: April.Belle has been dating Jamie Gold solidly for a month; it feels like he pours his heart and soul into every kiss but that's always where it stops. If life was a romance movie then the scene would have faded to black the moment they confessed their love, and the credits would have started rolling, but life wasn’t a movie. However, just because there's no such thing as a happy ending, that doesn't mean that love can't be enough.





	To Be Loved

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Did you just … finish?"

In real life there was no such thing as a happy ending.

Absently Belle chewed on the end of her pen as she pretended to contemplate the spreadsheet in front of her. Her mind wasn’t on the numbers, or her job, it was with her boyfriend of just over a month - Jamie Gold. They’d been friends for a long time, neither of them brave enough to confess how they felt for fear of ruining their friendship. Then her father had died, Gold had been there for her, and that had led to a breakthrough in their relationship.

Belle smiled as she remembered what had happened. She’d gone to the library, where Gold worked, to tell him how she felt but he’d acted first. He’d quoted from a book and she’d kissed him, causing quite the spectacle and embarrassing him horribly. She’d felt bad about that afterwards, it had taken a lot of courage for him to take the first step as it was. If life was a romance movie then the scene would have faded to black there, and the credits would have started rolling, but life wasn’t a movie.

She’d known before they started dating that there would be no magic bullet, that a relationship between them would take work. For a start there was Neal, Gold’s six-year-old son to consider. Belle idly tapped on her keyboard, pretending she was entering data and then swiftly removing it. She did have actual work that she should be doing but her eyes kept getting drawn to the clock on the wall, which was ticking incredibly slowly, and her mind was on her date later and the conversation she hoped to have.

Gold had some problems, although she hated to use that term or to think about it like that. She really cared about him, in fact she was fairly certain she was falling in love with him, if she wasn’t already in love. They’d been dating for just over a month and saw each other almost every day. Their dates consisted mostly of coffee at the library, when Gold was on break, or she went over for dinner at his apartment. They went out sometimes, they’d had a picnic in the park and had gone to the local museum. Belle knew Gold was keenly aware of the difference in their incomes so they didn’t usually do anything that cost much money, which suited her just fine. All that mattered was that they were together.

Last night had been girl’s night, and Ruby had given her a wicked grin and demanded all the dirty details, but Belle didn’t have any to share. She had been dating Jamie Gold solidly for a month and they hadn’t gone further than kissing. He was an incredible kisser, it was like he poured his heart and soul into every kiss. It always left her wanting more but he’d never made a move to touch her more intimately. She’d never moved his hands to show that he could, or attempted to touch him, because it hadn’t felt right. Ruby’s question had made her really think about why and Belle was quite unsettled by her conclusion.

It was body language. Gold always pulled away first, he was always tense and Belle realized that subconsciously she hadn’t wanted to spook him. Her hands had roamed a little but he’d never let her slip them under his shirt. She’d never seen him anything other than fully clothed. Belle chewed on her lip. Ruby had also picked up that she called him Gold, rather than his name, and Belle hadn’t known what to tell her. It felt like a private detail, that Gold hated the associations with his name so much, that he couldn’t bear anyone to use it.

She wasn’t going to demand more from him than he was ready to give. She didn’t mind going slowly. It was far better to do that, and for it to be right, than to rush and wreck everything. However, she did think that they needed to talk about this. She just wasn’t quite sure how to raise the subject without it sounding like a complaint. She just wanted to understand, and perhaps if they talked about it, then could come up with a plan of how best to move forward.

Belle groaned inaudibly as her eyes flickered to the clock once more. She swore this day was going much slower than normal. She sat up and focused on the screen, maybe if she concentrated then the time would go faster. Either way she wasn’t getting out of here until it was quitting time, so it was worth a shot.

*****

Gold hummed under his breath as he scurried around his apartment, triple checking that everything was as perfect as possible for when Belle arrived. He couldn’t do anything about the location, the Block was not a nice place and he was continually amazed that Belle agreed to come here, but he could make his tiny apartment as welcoming as possible. Truthfully all he could really do was keep it clean, he didn’t have the funds for much else.

He’d scraped together enough to buy a couple of cushions at the market, that helped the sagging lumpy couch a little, but it was still probably more comfortable to sit on the floor. His heart warmed when he remembered the one night Belle had stayed here. It was the best nights sleep he’d had in years, holding her in his arms, within the faux blanket fort he’d made. Belle had needed comfort, because her father had died, and it had been his honor to be there for her.

Belle sometimes stayed quite late, giving them some time alone together after Neal had gone to bed, but she always went home. It was for the best. No matter how much he wanted her, or how much she seemed to like his kisses, Belle could never actually want him. If she ever saw him, or felt him, he was certain it would spell the end of their relationship. He couldn’t blame her for that, she’d been so kind spending the time she had with him, and he just hoped that they would be able to stay friends.

A knock at the door sent him hurrying over. He threw it open, a smile forming on his face as he looked at Belle. The dying sunlight was behind her, casting her in a golden glow. Her chestnut curls gleamed and her blue eyes seemed impossibly bright. She took his breath away. Belle smiled back at him, ducking her head almost bashfully, and it was a minute before Gold remembered he was supposed to step back to let her in.

“Did you have a good day?” Gold asked, flushing in embarrassment he fled to the stove to check on dinner.

“A slow day,” Belle admitted, unwinding her scarf and slipping off her coat. She draped both on the back of the couch and slipped behind him. Gold flinched as she wrapped her arms round him from behind, dropping a kiss onto his shoulder. “I was practically counting the minutes until I could come here.”

Gold licked his dry lips, his throat too tight to respond. It sounded like Belle had missed him, just like he missed her, but that couldn’t be right.

“Belle!” Neal shrieked. They both turned and Belle smiled as Neal tumbled out of his room in his rush to greet her. “I got them all! Ten out of ten on my spelling test.”

“That’s brilliant,” Belle praised. “Do you have the set for next week?”

Neal wrinkled his nose. “Yeah but can we read instead? I want to know if they find the treasure.”

“Of course we can sweetie. Why don’t you get the book ...” Belle suggested.

Gold chuckled quietly as Neal almost tripped over his feet, as he careened back into his room. Belle was so good with Neal, every time she came over for dinner while he cooked, Belle read with Neal or helped him with his homework. It was so charmingly domestic it made his heart hurt, it was far too easy to imagine forever, but that path led to madness. When Belle left it wouldn’t just be his heart that would break, it would be Neal’s as well. Gold watched as Neal settled himself on the couch next to Belle.

She had her arm round him, and he was snuggled into her side. Gold turned away, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. They looked almost like mother and son, and that was _definitely_ a foolish dream. He could hear Belle’s melodic voice start reading, she even did voices for different characters. After a minute he dared to glance back over. Neal was absolutely enchanted, hanging on Belle’s every word. Gold’s hand shook as he stirred the dinner.

He knew what Archie, his therapist, would tell him. Archie would tell him not to borrow trouble, and to stop imagining every way this was going to go wrong, because it might go right. Gold wished he had that faith because this moment was as perfect as he could imagine life ever being.

*****

A couple of hours later Gold slipped out of Neal’s room, quietly pulling the door shut behind him. He blinked, while he’d been tucking Neal in Belle had been busy. The cushions from the couch, and the pillows from his bed, had been strewn across the floor in front of the couch. It was a pretty good replica of the faux blanket fort he’d made for Belle a month ago. Belle was sitting comfortably on one side, her back against the front of the couch. She patted the cushion next to her and smiled at him. Gingerly Gold dropped down next to her. He hoped that she would snuggle into his arms, but she didn’t and his heart sank.

“I don’t want you to take this the wrong way,” Belle started, linking her fingers with his and squeezing his hand. Gold felt like someone had reached inside his chest and squeezed his heart, that was _not_ a good beginning. “Why don’t you let me touch you?”

“What?” Gold said hoarsely. He’d expected Belle to say a lot of things but that hadn’t made the list. His heart hammered in his chest. She wasn’t happy with him so what difference did it make what she said, tonight was only going to end one way.

“You won’t touch me either,” Belle continued. “This isn’t a complaint, I just ... I need to know what’s going on in your head. Talk to me, please?”

“I ... I ... I’m sorry,” Gold stammered. “I just ... I ... I can’t. You don’t want that.”

An incredulous smile crossed Belle’s face, like she couldn’t quite believe what she’d just heard. “You are holding back because you don’t think I want you?”

“Well look at me,” Gold muttered self-deprecatingly, gesturing to his slight frame, graying hair and ruined leg. “It’s even worse without ... I have a lot of scars.” Belle bit her lip. Gold looked away, hating to see the pity in her eyes. “You’re so perfect and I don’t ...”

“I love you,” Belle interrupted, her voice tremulous.

Gold’s neck cracked as his head snapped round. Her eyes were glassy with threatened tears but he couldn’t detect any deceit in her expression. Although it wasn’t like she would have any motive to lie. Loving him would be nothing but a burden, there was no prize to be gained. He felt like pinching himself, surely he had to be dreaming, except he never dreamed all he had was nightmares. This was so amazing that surely something terrible must be about to happen to balance it out.

“I love you too Belle,” Gold told her. “I just ... I don’t ...”

He shook his head, unable to articulate the disbelief he felt. This couldn’t be real, this couldn’t be happening. Belle huffed and snuggled against him, his arm automatically wrapping round her, holding her close. She felt real, he could feel her warmth seeping through his cotton shirt. Her fingers traced patterns on his chest, above where his heart was. He glanced down at the same moment she looked up, their eyes met and he almost forgot to breathe. The moment snapped as he reached for her, slanting his mouth across hers. He kissed her like she was water and he was dying of thirst.

Belle moaned softly against his mouth and shifted, wrapping both arms round his neck she straddled him. Gold gulped feeling his cock surge. That part of him had been all but dead until Belle came into his life. Now, with their provocative position, he was instantly hard and aching even though she’d barely touched him. Any fleeting hope he had that she hadn’t noticed, disappeared the second Belle started giggling.

“Well that’s reassuring,” Belle whispered, her breath hot against his ear. Gold shivered, and Belle took one of his hands, guiding it to her breast. He whimpered and Belle froze. “I don’t want to push you, is this alright?”

“Alright,” Gold gasped, his hand acting almost on his own, tentatively squeezing.

Truthfully he wasn’t entirely sure. This was wonderful, and amazing, and it was making his head spin, but his gut was twisting in concern. What if he couldn’t perform? What if his scars, or his damaged leg, were too much once Belle saw them in their full glory? It had been years since he’d been with anyone, what if he couldn’t please her? What if he didn’t last? Belle deserved a real man, one who was whole and could please her in all ways, not one who was broken inside and out like him.

He felt himself soften. Belle was pressing kisses against his jaw, she was pressed against him but it was no good. He was going to fail her and his cock knew it. At least he didn’t have to worry about not lasting, it seemed he wasn’t going to be able to get it up at all. They had been moving too fast so it was just as well. Neal was only in the next room and this was a terrible idea. He wanted her, but if he ever got Belle into bed, then he’d only be a disappointment. It was better they stopped now.

“It’s getting late,” Gold whispered.

Belle shifted, slipping off his lap to snuggle back against his side. “Not really but I’ll leave if you want.”

“No I ... that’s not ... it’s just Neal and ...” Gold gestured wildly.

“I understand.” Belle nodded. “Would Mal watch him overnight?”

Gold choked, nearly swallowing his tongue. It seemed Belle wasn’t going to be dissuaded and if there was going to be a scene, then it would be a good idea for Neal not to be in the apartment. After she walked out, he could fall into a bottle and get mind-numbingly drunk, without being worried about being responsible for Neal. It would also put it off for at least a few days, more if he could string it out before asking Mal. He could have a few more glorious days being Belle’s boyfriend before it all came to an end.

“I’ll ask,” Gold promised, stroking her back. Belle hummed happily and cuddled even closer.

She said she loved him, and he loved her. If only that was enough.

*****

It was nearly two weeks later before Gold managed to arrange for Mal to have Neal overnight. The delay hadn’t even been on purpose. Mal worked nights at the Queen of Hearts, and it had taken that long for her to have a night off. Gold flushed in memory of his hesitant request, and Mal’s amused smirk. Still she had agreed and it would only be this once, because after Belle saw how pathetic he was, she would break up with him. She said she loved him, and he definitely loved her, but Belle deserved so much better than him and he hoped that she would see that.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. Gold swallowed hard and forced himself to take a deep breath, before rushing to open it. His hand was shaking as he turned the lock and he grimaced. He was a mess. He felt sweaty and sick, and he didn’t need to look in a mirror to know he probably looked awful. Not that he liked looking in the mirror at the best of times, he had to most days in order to shave, but the man he saw staring back wasn’t one he recognized or liked very much.

“Hi,” Gold said softly, seeing Belle standing there. His eyes dropped down to the small bag she was carrying and his heart started to race. That was an overnight bag, they were really doing this.

“Hi,” Belle said back, leaning forward to kiss him.

Gold tensed, but it was just a soft press of her lips against his cheek. They still had time. They could have dinner, it could be hours yet before the inevitable happened. Belle shot him a brilliant smile and brushed past him. He shut the door and turned, frowning when he couldn’t see her. A moment later Belle emerged from his bedroom, having dropped her bag inside. A soft smile spread across his face at the sight. He couldn’t help it, as worried as he was about what was going to happen, he loved seeing Belle comfortable in his apartment. She’d never gone in his bedroom before but she hadn’t even hesitated. He loved that.

“I was just about to make dinner.” Gold gestured to the kitchen.

Belle bit her lip, a blush tinting her cheeks. “Maybe ... dinner can wait?”

Gold paled, his hopeful thoughts having now proven to be a lie. Belle didn’t want to wait and he supposed putting off the inevitable was foolish. He had the cheapest bottle of scotch the liquor store sold, ready and waiting in a cupboard in the kitchen. Tonight he would get very drunk, and tomorrow he would have to tell Neal that Belle wasn’t going to be visiting them anymore. That would probably be what would hurt the most.

“I know you have a perfectly good bed but I was hoping ... that first night I spent here, you made a sort of blanket fort. It’s kind of our special place,” Belle suggested hesitantly.

“Yes of course,” Gold agreed.

That night two weeks ago, when Belle had replicated the blanket fort, now made more sense. Every couple he knew had something that symbolized their relationship, that they came back to in times of trouble or for big leaps forward. David and Mary Margaret, his bosses at work, had hiking. Whenever they needed to center themselves, and their relationship, they headed for the woods. Apparently he and Belle had a sort of blanket fort.

He was a little surprised Belle had such fond memories of it, given that he’d built it to comfort her, but perhaps that was the association she had made - comfort, not grief. Belle darted back into his bedroom, bringing out the pillows and his duvet, while he pulled the cushions off the couch. Working together, they had a comfortable nest built within a minute. Gold cleared his throat, wondering if Belle felt half as awkward as he did. They were standing on either side of it, and he rubbed his fingers together nervously, gripping his cane tightly.

He wasn’t sure how they were going to do this. It would probably be easier if they undressed first but he wasn’t exactly keen to do that. Besides it was Belle seeing him naked that he feared, when she saw his scars and his mangled leg, he hoped that she would run a mile. She deserved so much better than a broken down single father, who couldn’t even make it through the night without waking sick and shaky from nightmares.

Belle dropped down and wriggled until she was over on her side. Jerkily, Gold walked round the couch and lowered himself down to sit next to her. The moment he was there Belle snuggled into his arms. He tensed, but Belle sighed happily, her head pillowed against his shoulder. It was just a hug, they’d done this many times before and slowly he felt himself relax. He took a deep breath, Belle’s scent washing over him, feeling her warm and soft against him. He blinked rapidly, he was permanently exhausted and when he was holding Belle like this he felt safe, it was the only time he did feel safe, and it was all he could do not to go to sleep.

She shifted and he felt her lips against his neck. Her breath was hot against his skin as she pressed feather-light kisses up his neck and around his jaw. His breathing quickened and he moved, and then Belle’s lips were against his. They’d done this before too, he knew how to do this at least. His tongue dipped into her mouth to taste her, as he poured into the kiss every emotion that he felt but didn’t know how to express. _‘I love you and I’m sorry.’_ He flinched, feeling Belle’s hand trace his skin just under the hem of his t-shirt.

“Alright?” Belle checked.

“Yeah, it’s ... it’s not a pretty sight,” Gold admitted.

Belle pulled back a little to study him, biting her lip in contemplation. “I could go first if you’d like?” she offered frankly, her hands moving to the hem of her own shirt even as she spoke.

Gold’s mouth dried. He wasn’t sure if that would be better or worse, he was already feeling the contrast between how perfect Belle was, and how broken he was. Suddenly he realized he’d nodded and that Belle’s shirt was moving, exposing the pale smooth skin of her stomach, then the lacy edge of her bra. He stared, dumbstruck, and Belle laughed lightly, reaching behind her to unclip her bra. Gold’s eyes widened as the bra fell away. He knew it was a romantic cliché but her breasts looked like the perfect size for his hands.

“You can touch,” Belle told him, laying back down beside him and bringing one of his hands up to her breast, the same as she had done two weeks ago only this time he just felt skin.

“Oh Belle,” Gold breathed. He cupped her gently, feeling her nipple harden against his palm. He could feel himself hardening, his cock pressing insistently against the zipper of his pants.

“My turn,” Belle whispered, her hands drifting back to the hem of his shirt.

Gold set his jaw, no matter what happened next he wouldn’t blame her, she’d already given him so much. He let her pull his shirt up and whip it over his head. He hunched his shoulders, holding his arms protectively over his chest as he waited for Belle’s response. He’d expected a sharp intake of breath, an apology, for her to abruptly grab her things and leave. He didn’t expect a soft kiss, as she coaxed him to relax and lay back.

He glanced down, Belle’s hand skimmed over his chest as she explored him, but she didn’t linger on the scars that criss-crossed his torso like he was some kind of monster. He’d prepared himself for at the very least her pity, but she touched him like the scars weren’t even there. A lump grew in his throat, he hadn’t thought that was a possibility, but it was exactly what he’d needed. His lips found hers, kissing her fiercely as he rolled her over onto her back. Belle’s hand tangled in his hair and scored his shoulders as he kissed her. He groaned and bucked involuntarily as she wrapped her legs around his waist.

They needed to slow down. He needed to please her. He’d never been very good at this but he wanted to try. Belle was touching him like she didn’t care about his scars. While it was still possible his mangled leg was a step too far, maybe he’d been worrying for nothing. He thought it was a disgusting sight but Belle was pressing against him, pulling him closer, moaning under his touch. He hadn’t believed her words, even though he knew she had no reason to lie, but her actions were something he could trust. Belle had said that she loved him and maybe he’d been wrong - maybe love was enough.

“Tell me what you like,” Gold demanded, between desperate kisses. “Tell me how to please you. I want to please you.”

“You already do,” Belle said softly, cupping his cheek.

Gold groaned, his head falling against Belle’s neck. His lips slid across her skin, working his way down to mouth at her breast; he couldn’t believe she was allowing him this. Gold traced his tongue in swirls, and Belle’s nipple pebbled and hardened under the attention. He moved to swap to the other side and accidently his teeth scraped the tender bud. Gold’s eyes widened, an apology flying to his lips but Belle just smiled dreamily at him.

“Do that again?” Belle moaned.

She didn’t need to tell him twice. Gold ducked his head, his mouth working the neglected breast, while his hand moved to gently tease the other. His head was spinning. Belle was so responsive, reacting to him like he was an ordinary man. His lips curled into a smile at the thought; he was a man - her man. She wriggled and he immediately sprang back, wary of doing anything wrong, and his eyes nearly rolled back into his head seeing her attack the zip on her skirt.

He choked when she arched her back, pulling the skirt and her underwear down in one smooth motion. His hand reached out on his own accord, tracing up the smooth skin of her leg. Gold grimaced, the contrast was going to be horrific. If the scars on his torso were bad, his mangled leg was much worse, it looked like it had been through a meat-grinder.

“You get comfortable, I’ll just grab the condom.” Belle blushed.

“I got a box myself,” Gold told her distractedly, his eyes riveted to Belle’s body.

He knew it had been a while but he was acting like a teenager getting his first glance at naked flesh. It’s just this was Belle that was naked and he couldn’t stop staring. He’d got a good eyeful when she had been laying down, but moving to stand up and then padding across the room, there was just so much more. A second after she disappeared from view into his bedroom, Gold’s gaze dropped down to his tented trousers. His hands shook as he undid the button and lowered the zipper. He moaned softly in relief at losing the restriction against his cock but then he hesitated.

“Should have had one ready.” Belle laughed softly. She frowned. “Are you ok? You know we don’t have to do anything more if ...”

“No, no I want to,” Gold said quickly.

He really did, he was just scared, he didn’t want to disappoint her. This was exactly what he needed to combat his fears. He couldn’t believe Belle’s words but she was showing him with her actions that she wasn’t lying. Yes, they were taking a big step in a single night, but every time she touched him, he was reassured. He was still afraid, there was still a lot that could go wrong but he wanted to push forward and find out once and for all. His cock was still twitching eagerly at the sight of Belle, but he hadn’t forgotten that the last time they’d been heading here he’d gone soft. He was just waiting for that to happen, for his fears to overwhelm his arousal, leaving Belle unsatisfied and him embarrassed. She still hadn’t seen his leg.

“Hey,” Belle murmured softly. She sat back down and reached over to gentle stroke his cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Gold said hoarsely, capturing her hand and gently kissing her fingers.

He dropped her hand and contemplated his lower half again. The blanket fort was them, it was perfect for their first time, but it was on the ground which made standing up a lot more difficult. There was no way he would be able to finish undressing with any dignity whatsoever. Either he ungainly pulled his trousers and boxers down while kneeling and then flopped around like a fish; or he struggled to his feet which wasn’t going to be a pretty sight either. Although nothing about him was a pretty sight so he guessed it didn’t matter.

Gold took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and shoved his trousers and boxers down to pool at his knees. He flopped onto his back and kicked and shoved until they were off completely, then and only then did he chance a glance at Belle. His blood froze, she was staring in horror at his leg, he had known that she would. Then she licked her lips, his eyes were drawn to the movement and his rising panic careened to a halt. Belle wasn’t staring at his leg, she was staring at his cock. He could scarcely believe it, and it would be so easy to convince himself otherwise, but it wasn’t disgust in her expression it was arousal. Belle bit her lip and wrenched her gaze away, focusing on the condom wrapper she was holding.

“Wait, let me,” Gold pleaded, taking the opened wrapper from her.

Carefully he placed it within easy reach and coaxed Belle to lay back down. He kissed her fiercely, his hand shaking as he traced it down her body. He hesitated at her hip, still struggling to believe that they were here, that they were doing this. Belle squirmed and his fingers slipped between her legs. Gold choked; she was so wet and warm. He had wanted to check that she was ready, certain that she couldn’t be just from his clumsy ministrations, but she felt more than ready.

As he stroked her Belle whined. “Please.”

Gold bit his tongue and grabbed for the condom. He whimpered as he pulled it on, his breathing ragged. There was a roaring in his ears as he clumsily balanced, holding himself above her with one hand as he lined them up with the other. He kissed her, feeling the head of his cock press inside. He groaned, his head falling against her neck, his jaw lax with pleasure. Slowly, he thrust, inching forward, his whole body shaking at the feeling. Nothing had ever felt this good. The last time he’d had sex was a distant memory; back from before the war, from before his scars, but he swore it hadn’t felt like this.

“Oh that’s good,” Belle moaned.

Leaving her was torture, but thrusting back inside was like heaven. Gold thrust once, twice and ecstasy claimed him. He gave a guttural groan as he came into the condom and collapsed on top of her, unable to hold himself up anymore. He gasped for breath, his mind blissfully blank for once in his life.

“Did ... did you just ... finish?” Belle asked hesitantly, and he came back to himself.

The horror was immediate. For a start he was probably crushing her, but that paled in significance next to his poor showing. He couldn’t be more mortified, he’d lasted just a couple of thrusts, leaving her unsatisfied exactly how he’d feared. Well, he’d mostly been afraid of going soft, but he should have known that this would happen when that didn’t.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Gold stammered, barely remembering just in time to grab the base of the condom as he pulled out. Frantically he glanced round for somewhere to put it, eventually dropping it on top of his discarded boxers. He would deal with it later. “I’m really ...”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright,” Belle said soothingly.

Gold chanced a glance at her expression. It was soft and open, there was no hint of censure or anger for his failure. She coaxed him to lay back down next to her and kissed him. For a moment he was too stunned to respond but Belle didn’t seem to mind that either. She grabbed his hand and guided it between her legs. He hissed, feeling her slick heat beneath his fingers.

“It’s not the end and besides.” Belle smiled impishly. “We have all night, there’s always next time.”

 _‘Next time’_ echoed in his mind. She wasn’t leaving, she touched him like the scars weren’t even there, she hadn’t looked twice at his mangled leg; love had been enough. He kissed her, relishing the little noises she made as he stroked her. They did indeed have all night and he was determined to learn how to please her. He’d been too awestruck to argue earlier, but he really should have brought her to orgasm at least a few times before sliding inside her. He’d make up for that now.

If he could, and her moans, breathy sighs and choked gasps indicated that he could, then he would make her come with his fingers now. Then later, maybe they could try again with his cock, and he hoped fervently that he wouldn’t fail her again. Belle might be willing to overlook it once, but she deserved a real man, one who lasted more than thirty seconds. Otherwise he feared that sooner or later, she would decide he was too much effort.

“I love you,” Belle gasped, as he thrust two fingers inside her.

Gold smiled lovingly. “And I love you so, so much.”


End file.
